Sunday, November 29, 2009

Did you ask God for help?

If you are unemployed like myself then you know what it feels like to ask for help and all you get besides a strange ugly look is the answer "No"!

For years I have helped many friends, family members, and even a few strangers who lived in the area with money, plane tickets, food, loans (in which many were never paid back), buy them a car, help with their rent or utilities among other items.


Now I am the one in need. I have never felt so damn bad about asking for help but I too have a young daughter that depends on me and I feel so ashame because I feel so helpless. I, like so many before me that is reading this have already gone thru the savings and started on my retirement account. All I keep hearing from people is "oh, you shouldn't touch your retirement account, you will be paying a deep penalty for early withdrawal." It is so nice for them to be so concern about me having to pay a penalty; how quickly they are to offer free advice when I asked that same person for just a little bit of help and they said "No".
I was never much on going to church and I just couldn't for the life of me to realize "why". I didn't read the Bible very much either. I have been unemployed for well over 10 months and in the small little town where I am now people are still being laid off. So getting even a temp job to help pay the bills does not look good for any time soon. I do have a little help from social services with food.
What hurts worst is that I have applied to several (6) charities organizations online that stated they could help with a donation to cover my monthly bills. Several use "God" as a reference and stating that they were christian so I filled out the online application. It felt great to read that they approved me for a large donation until I got down to the bottom and they asked for 10% of the amount they were "donating".
I email one lady back and asked her how come there was a "fee" if the amount is a donation? I contacted my local FBI and turn in all the email addresses and was told that I should never pay for any "fee" because if there is a fee then it usually is included within the loan package. As for any donation, this is money given to you free of any such charges and we should never pay anybody until we have the money in our hands. To thing this lady was the one that claimed to be a christian and was using God as her ploy to scam people out of money.
I just could not understand what was happening to me. Did I do something wrong that turned my friends and family away from wanting to help me in my time of need? Even as old as I am I broke down and started crying because I just lost everything that I worked so hard for. What was even worst was that people whom I trusted and helped in the past was not willing to help me and they would not tell me why.
So early one afternoon while my daughter was in school I said a prayer. Then I picked up my Bible and started reading. In my prayer I asked God to help me to make some sense from all this.
For years I never gave more then $10 or $20 dollars when I went to church. The truth is I really didn't go to church that much either. I always gave to charities and to the homeless asking for handouts on the medium strips at the red light but never 10% like the Bible states.
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